Abs

Every time I open this blog or get on Facebook, or even try to read the International Herald and Tribune, this ad floats to the side about 5 ways to have flat abs or three secrets to getting rid of belly fat, or how to look great in that tux or--well, you get the idea. So, I have been giving this a lot of thought.

I actually clicked on the d--- thing one time and, of course, got an unending stream of motivational babble that told me nothing but did have a $39.95 price tag at the bottom of the scroll.

I have been observing some guys at the fitness center (Lynn says I can't call it a gym) doing the ab crunch thing with all those convoluted machines. One of them I recognized from my last visits to the fitness center. He still has the same beer gut as three years ago.

I am usually oblivious to what going on around me --you know, shy, self absorbed, reading a book-- but, while at the Plaza waiting for the family last week, a fabulously attractive young woman walked by. I think it was the whiff of Chanel No.5 (always remember that scent--my first girlfriend from high school left a lasting impression) that made me look up. I will admit, her simple, fresh beauty took my breath away. Then she smiled. Unconsciously, without hesitation--just a physical bodily reaction--I straightened up, quickly sucked in a deep breath, and guess what? …for just a few seconds, I had great abs.

So, there it is, friends. Save the $39.95. Quit giving yourself stomach cramps at the gym. No more embarrassing yourself with that yoga ball. Here is the secret to truly great abs:

Take a deep breath. Suck it up. GREAT abs--at least for three seconds.