The Issue of Tissue

I was standing in the aisle at Walmart--I forget why. Anyway, it struck me that we Americans have a tissue for everything. Specialty thin paper--one for our butts. Another for our face. Tissues for our hands. Bigger and bold for "cleaning up spills."

I walked down the aisle and counted nine different tissues in fourteen different sizes. They are packaged in cardboard boxes, plastic wrappers, in small quantities and in bulk.

In most of the world where I travel tissue is found on a roll. This one size and style is capable of taking care of any personal hygiene need. Wipe your tears. Wipe your butt. Wipe your nose. Dry your hands. Mop your brow. Clean your toes. No matter--just pass the roll.

But we are just getting started. Need to clean the plate? Wipe the mess off the floor? Wipe the dipstick? Layer the deep fried potatoes to absorb the oil? Swish the subway seat? Toss me the roll.

I applaud the new emphasis in the national political arena for saving the environment... one way to start is to simplify our obsession with dressing up and diversifying good ole TP.